Neurodivergence, Parenting & Identity at Work with Tausha Simon

Michelle

Hey everyone. My name is Michelle and today I am flying without Gillian, which I'm a little sad about. I was telling her earlier that it's a little like running all legs of the relay yourself. But I am so pumped to speak with today's guest, Tausha Simon. I had heard about this incredible human who could do all these things, but I had not actually interacted with her until we were on this interview panel together.

And I don't know, dear listener, how many interviews you do on a regular basis, but usually you're, you know, learning about the person that you're interviewing, not the person who's conducting the interview with you. However, Tausha is so effervescent. I just felt like I feel like I could gush here a lot about how thoughtful her questions were, how her responses were so kind that she was so active with her listening and making people feel seen.

Just everything. So we do a few rounds of these interviews. I'm having a nice time. And then like, I think our last series together, you, like, casually drop that you're a mom to a ten year old son who has non-verbal autism. And I think to myself, I'm not going to do this interview with this person. I have to know more about Tausha.

She is this compassionate, thoughtful person who brings her full self to work, and her work spans personal development and executive coaching. Plus, she's the marketing manager at Aspect right now, plus parenting people. I think you got to really buckle up here, because I'm excited about this. Thank you so much for being here, Tausha.

Tausha

Oh thank you Michelle. What an intro. Oh my goodness.

Michelle

Thank you, thank you, thank you. Let me know I'll write your LinkedIn bio for you. Okay. So what brought you today to like where we're sitting this and you being this incredible human who can talk about all these areas with, like, this incredible expertise, how did you end up here?

Tausha

You know, that's such a powerful question and, like, really thinking through it, I'm like, man, life has brought me here a whole lot of living. And, you know, not really like a vision board or like a pure UN plan of what I should be is just like with different experiences in my life, it's required me to slow down and really listen and like, uncover aspects of, my experience with, like my family, with my work space and, through, understanding different disciplines and identities.

It's like the more I can show up and better serve those that I'm with. And so parenting a nonverbal son, and also a very expressive daughter, by the way, I have two kids. And so there's very different, parallels there. Right. And it requires me to really tune into aspects of them and differently. Right. And how I show up into the world, the workspace, and really all spaces.

So it's required me to really become that safe space for those around me, which you mean, I try to show up kind in all things, right? Because everyone thinks differently. Everything. Everyone, responds differently or shows up differently. Like my son, who's non-verbal. I have to really pay attention to how he moves. You can't tell me he's in pain.

Sometimes I have to just look at all variables to figure it out. And so there's just like different nuances that we have to be. I'm willing to show up in that way and it's helped me navigate my own emotions. Right. So when I look at autism or are neurodivergent, they're really, emerging into who they are. And so that's where I would say it's not like a special title or anything like that.

It's just lived experience, more or less.

Michelle

I love that. When did your kind of journey because you, you have this blog and podcast gratefully you do you talk about like rest and you talk about kind of this whole person and you've done some executive coaching, like where does that person come from? Like, did you kind of know that that's who you were going to be?

Like, how do you end up as this like executive coach marketing thing? Like what kind of brought you there?

Tausha

It's definitely not been linear at all.

Michelle

Stories never are.

Tausha

Yeah. Well, I was working in a corporate role prior to this for about 11 years. I was doing marketing, sales—you name the title, I probably did it. In that role, I decided to transition. I had to choose whether to stay present with my kids and have PJ (that's my son's name) access the resources he needs locally.

I live in Arizona. Here in Arizona, we have amazing services that support him. The alternative was to relocate for this job that I had been doing for years. In that moment, I had to decide: What do I do? How do I show up? What's the right decision? Is there even a "right" decision? Prior to that, I had already been asking myself these questions of what it means to show up beyond expectations.

I had to really weigh my options. I knew my son is at such a pivotal age right now—he's ten. If I moved and he didn't have consistent resources, how would that frame his life in the future? And so Gratefully You was birthed out of that ideation. It came from me being able to process, because I think all those who think differently are great.

When we step into our fullness and show up fully, whether you're someone who's verbal or non-verbal, we all need an essence of that. There's brilliance in who you are. So as I was asking that question outside of the titles that I bear: Who am I? How do I show up in the world? How do I serve my family and those that I'm around?

That's kind of where Grateful You stepped in. I help usher people to remove themselves from those titles or expectations and really find the core essence of who they are, not just what society says they should be.

Michelle

When you ask yourself the question, who am I? Like, what did you decide?

Tausha

Well, that my core essence is to love and that love is how I show up. So in every room that I walk into, I see the person, I see who they are, truly listen to what they're saying beyond just the words. Because like I said, my son has taught me to see and listen beyond words. What does that look like?

When I'm coaching others, sometimes they don't know or have words for what they're feeling and why they feel the way that they do. So I look at the nervous system, the trauma responses, things that they may not realize are being triggered—to help them reflect back to the core of who they are in all their fullness.

Maybe some childhood experiences or familial dynamics we grew up with can impact how we show up in the world as adults. And how do we shape our experience and retrain our mind to then show up better for ourselves and for others?

Michelle

Well, I could talk about that, I think, all day. What are the sorts of things that you watch for or that kind of signal you like, "Okay, I see that. I know what's happening here."

Tausha

With a coaching client? Yeah. So sometimes, one of the key things I look for is: are you really experiencing joy in your daily life? When we are passionate about what we do, we create. We're allowed to create more—more joy, more fun, more life. Right? So, oftentimes when I'm listening to what people are saying, I ask: are they feeling restricted?

Do they feel like they're in a box or controlled? Are they resting? What does that look like? Are they feeling like the weight of the world is on their shoulders? How do we break down those layers to be able to get to the core of what they desire? So, for example, I'll use my husband as an example.

He works in insurance, but he's also a videographer as well. When we were first married, he had a desire to create. He's a creative, and so am I. But you still need to have the financial means to be able to create, right? So what does that look like? Well, there were moments where I saw that he would go into a deep depression because he likes his job.

Yes, but he wasn't creating. That's the core essence of who he is. How do we get you to create again? When you're creating, you bring that joy into your workplace because you're not tapped out. You feel like you can really, truly live again. So that's one of the things I'm listening for.

Where is there joy?

Michelle

That's incredible. What led you to notice that? Like, how did you equate joy with that sense of freedom?

Tausha

You know, I think back to kids, right? They are such great teachers. My daughter, for example, is also very creative. When I think about how easy it is for her to let things go or to sit and just draw, and how one idea can create so many others. There was a point in time, even in my experience, where I wasn't creating. I was just in the habit of routine and I would get bogged down. I'd make the same schedule every day, and then comes the weekend.

I'm too tired to do anything that I love to do. That's a problem. So how do I make small shifts to be able to excite more joy? One of the things that I've done was inspired by my daughter's example. Looking at her example encouraged me to buy myself a paddleboard. Do I know how to paddleboard?

No. Have I been on a paddleboard before? Absolutely not. But I'm like, "Ooh, let's go do it. Why not?" By myself in the river. Cool. But that one experience of me saying "let me think like a kid again" to do something fun that I've never done before, being creative and curious—it actually opened the doors for more ideas to come forward that I didn't expect.

And so following my daughter's or my son's ideation of what they're doing to create, they live so present in the moment. I want to mirror that. And so I hope that answers your question.

Michelle

Yeah, yeah, I absolutely believe that. I have very strong opinions about this specifically for myself—I could not be a stay-at-home mom, just me. I don't need to apply what is for me to everyone. But during Covid, I was at home with the kids and I was like, "I don't even know what to do with myself."

And I would find myself, you know, kind of doing that. Like, "I'm so exhausted. I can't..." You know exactly what you're saying. There wasn't that joy and space. And so actually I kind of came around then to realize that I really enjoy working and I think it makes me a better parent. It makes me a more present parent.

I know that seems a little bit backwards, but letting my brain go do something else and parent—it just made me better at both things, you know? And now, feeling like what you were saying about bringing in some of those fun elements—a couple of years ago, I started playing when my kids were a little older.

I started playing rec center volleyball. You should know, I'm not very tall—I'm like five feet and a little bit, right? So I'm not a volleyball goddess by any means, but it's so fun just getting to do something that's pure enjoyment with no pressure.

It frees up so much mental space, even though it takes time. Paradoxically, it ends up creating more space for everything else.

Tausha

Yeah, it reduces the noise. I think of our constant thinking—if we're present in theta, or if you're focused in the moment on whatever you're doing, it allows you to breathe a little deeper. I sleep better. I just started reading a book recently. I haven't read fiction in years. I often lean into inspired action—whatever it is in that moment, what am I doing this week that's going to inspire me?

Even on a small daily level, maybe it's reading for ten minutes. That's something creative—drawing or writing or blogging—whatever. It creates more capacity to get our wheels turning. And I ask a lot of questions. When I'm asking myself questions, I research and then more ideas come, or I talk to new people.

It's so expansive. And just FYI, I'm on a new kick of pickleball. I want to learn how to play because I used to play volleyball back in the day, but pickleball sounds fun. It's like a new phase or fad. So Michelle, come on over to Arizona. Let's go play.

Michelle

Let's go. I'm in. My roommate in college played tennis, and she tried so hard to teach me because I liked racquetball. And she was like, "This is not for you." She was a great teacher, too. Totally not on her. Anyway.

Tausha

Oh, hilarious.

Michelle

We could learn it together, maybe.

Tausha

Yeah. For real.

Michelle

I do want to highlight something you said earlier about emergence. Can you talk a little bit more about that? Why that word? I feel like we collectively talk a lot about neurodiversity—that word has entered our lexicon. But you're saying you want to think about it as emergence.

Where did that come about? And what do you mean?

Tausha

Yeah. So absolutely, this is a new thought pattern that's come forward over the last year. It really comes from observing my son and thinking about my own journey of becoming. When I think about neurodivergent, it feels like a very powerful word. We can all relate. We know what it means. It does mean different.

But in many spaces it centers around the idea of deviation—that something's not right in how you feel, think, or do, and everything else is the exception. So emergence is really about, to me, feeling truer. It feels like I'm coming to an arrival of who I am because it's unfolding.

When I look at my son firsthand—does he have some words? Yes. It's constantly like we're cracking him open to expand into his essence, creating a safe space to allow himself to be. When I let go of expectations of what I thought he should be, he began to expand more and more.

And that is a big journey. I think a lot of parents of children on the spectrum kind of explore this. There is a level of grief that you go through, assuming your child would be this, this, and this. But when I let go of that terminology and focus on how he's just expanding—almost like a butterfly— Cocooning and then transforming— I can relate to him personally. We're all emerging. We're all going through different parts of our lives where we're learning, growing, and developing—just at different rates and speeds, with different tonality in how we're speaking or expressing. And so that's what I think about. How does that expand into a workforce?

How is each person we're working with emerging into their learning, uncovering who they want to be every day? I think once we set someone at a standard of who we think they are, we limit our mental capacity to understand what they can be and what they can become.

Michelle

Absolutely. How do you encourage that safe space at home with your son—like, let's crack open a little bit more? And how has that taught you to mirror that at work?

Tausha

That's a good question. We practice many different things with him. One thing for certain is that with my son, we have a team. I cannot be his only person to support him. Often when you're early in the diagnosis process, parenting can feel like, "I don't want to get my kid diagnosed."

I don't want to title or label. But the reality is, if I hadn't stepped forward and said something is going on, I want to help support him, I want to help him find his voice—whatever that voice looks like—I wouldn't have started developing a team around him through his therapists, and we work through a plan together to support him.

And so when I think about emerging, some of the tools we work with: is he considered nonverbal? Yes. Does he have words? He now has a couple. Does he speak and communicate the way you and I do? No. But I ask him questions and speak to him as if he does know what I'm saying.

And he does. He's a very smart boy. So I meet him where he's at. If it's a challenge and I see nonverbal frustration, sometimes it's sensory seeking, then I honor that. I give him what he needs, I give him the words to ask me so we can practice. And when I think about applying that to the workforce, what does that look like?

Creating space for others to share their needs? I think of psychological safety—how do you help someone feel safe enough to express their needs? One way is coming from a place of curiosity versus judgment. When I notice someone's gotten quieter or seems stressed, I don't know if it's work-related.

I don't know if it's personal. I don't know what it is, but I care. If I am able to show up and ask them, "Hey, how's it going? Do you need anything? How can I help you?"—asking those questions with curiosity and meeting them where they're at and truly showing up. Because you can ask a question and be like, "Oh, they got it."

They'll figure it out. That's not true empathy. When I think about being the example, I think of Mahatma Gandhi: "Be the change you want to see in the world." So if I show up vulnerably, others will show up vulnerably and share more about their experience. So meeting them where they are—long answer to your question, but.

Michelle

I think it's so both things, right? That safe space and the actual question, because I feel like you probably get a very different answer because of the way you carry yourself and your presence when you say, "Hey, did you need anything? How are you doing?" Where like, I feel like often I show up, you know, especially when there are people around, I'm usually responsible for their general wellbeing, like, "Did you have food today?"

You know, so I'm doing a lot of, "Did you need something?" But I don't really mean that. I'm just saying it because you might need something. And then I really only get responses like, "Yeah, I need a glass of water," or "I wish you had gotten soda instead of this bubbly water." I'm not getting those deeper things. But I like what you're saying and want to highlight that creating that safe space is so important for you to be able to say, "Hey, did you need something?"

Or like, "Do you need anything?" Just the space that you're asking that in is so important.

Tausha

You know, to add to that, I was thinking about asking that question, "Do you need anything?" For example, my son may not be able to tell me specifically what he needs. So thinking about it from a work perspective too, I know there are times where I don't know exactly what I need because we're all figuring it out, right?

And for my son, sometimes I'm like, "Hey, do you need this or this or this?" And I give him options, and then he might be able to identify or come up with something else that he wants. And I feel like that's exactly what we do in the workforce too—not putting words in their mouth, but creating space to be like, "Hey, have you considered this, this, and this?"

Right. And then, that opens the door for them.

Michelle

This year, our friends at the Glenna Group, Jordan Birnbaum and Lorimar, they say that Michael Jordan doesn't know what it's like to not be Michael Jordan. So I think about DK, who we both work with. I had this conversation where I was like, "Did you know that writing that email that takes you half an hour because you want it to be dead on?"

You've got to say all the right things. Like, I don't do that. I know that's going to take me less than five minutes. And he's like, mind blown. Like, "I had no idea." I think what you're saying there with offering options, saying, "Did you know that there is another way?"—we only know who we are.

We only know that this is what I was supposed to do. This is X. And then having someone with a different perspective say, "Oh, did you know? Have you thought? Did you need this?" to be like, "Oh, I didn't know I could ask for that."

Tausha

Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely.

Michelle

I agree. I feel like it is a bit buzzy, obviously. Like I was saying, the word "neurodiversity" is a little buzzy to talk about, and talk about this sense of honoring that in the workplace. So from your perspective, what are we missing when we think about actual belonging, like creating an actual safe space?

Because I think sometimes we think about like, "Oh, you just need a computer monitor." Maybe that shows up differently, right? Those are not necessarily the things that create a safe space. So what are we missing here?

Tausha

Yeah, that's a good question because you're right that it is a little buzzy. And inclusiveness is definitely—we have a DEI workbook policy book of what we should be doing and how we offer this. But when I think about it from a non-policy perspective, it's just how we show up. And I think it starts with our leadership first creating that, showing up vulnerably, expressing yourself, and being able to truly listen.

Right. That opens the door for people to feel comfortable. If someone comes to you with a question and they feel judged or like you're not listening, it's going to shut them down. Will they open up again? It's going to take much longer for them to be able to do that.

I think that is the key—everyone desires, whether neurodivergent or neurotypical, to be understood, to be seen, and to be heard. How are we doing that for each person? It's individual. It requires intimacy. And some people are uncomfortable with being intimate, meaning vulnerable. Because they think, "Oh, we're at work."

I don't want to do that. We're on a mission to reach the goal, the quota, things like that. But yes, we do need that to be a functional business. To have success in our experience at work, that's very certain. But if you are able to create space where someone feels like they belong and their thoughts matter, that their ideas matter, more creativity will begin to flow, creating more innovation that will ultimately impact that ROI.

So how do we slow down, create presence? Then you'll yield performance.

Michelle

I love that! I have a question that is fun, but I have to lead with this story first—you might have to hang with me.

Tausha

Let's go. I'm ready.

Michelle

All right, so I coached my daughter's rugby team. She's six, so I had a bunch of six-year-olds. I get a roster ahead of the season, and on my roster, the parents have listed that one of the kids on my team has autism and a visual disorder. And I'm like, cool. I have interacted with a pretty wide range of students, particularly where my background is, who have autism. I've talked to their parents. I just have a lot of...

Tausha

Lived experience.

Michelle

Just lived experience, you know? So I'm like, cool, no problem. However, something I realized is that I have never spoken to a bunch of six-year-olds about their teammate who has autism. Like, I know what to do. I know how to slow this down, answer questions, and be really straightforward. If someone's asking me a question, I'm going to show I'm listening. He was very verbal and had a lot to say. So I knew how to handle this, but I did not know how to handle the questions from the kids.

Like, "Why is he doing that? Why is he over there?" And I realized that translates into the workplace as well. So maybe you can answer that on both fronts. Not necessarily like you have to have the answer, but how do we help the people around kind of uncover and help in this emergence and contribute to that for your kid who is emerging?

And also, how do we do that at work? Like, how do we help each other with that emergence?

Tausha

That's such a solid question and something that I often think about because, again, with my daughter being typical and my son having autism, she's younger than him, she's seven. So I'm getting a lot of questions from her that I'm certain other children would have for my son. Right. Why doesn't he talk to me? They try to talk to him.

So I have had to really work on myself. I'm so protective, I don't want any bullies. I'm definitely super mom in that way. Like, we're going to talk this out. Right. And it's tough. I think I feel like it's navigating his autonomy because how dare I share that he's autistic with everyone.

Unless he wants me to—and he can't tell me that. But like in this scenario, I'm talking about my experience and how as a parent, I'm working through it, right? So when my daughter asks why he doesn't answer her questions or says, "I don't know how to be around him because he's not talking. He doesn't always play with me."

So I'll help cultivate words or find games to help them play together. He loves his tablet, so I will try and create experiences where they can play together and he can show her he's a numbers guy. He is so brilliant. And my daughter is more into reading and artsy and she's storytelling. So when she's doing homework, I'm like, "Well, why don't you ask your brother?"

And he is a whiz. So showing her his strengths, and helping her understand, "Well, he's really good at this and you're really good at that. Let's work together to solve this problem." And so creating those experiences. Now taking that into the work experience, that's a little different because you can't just out somebody—that's just not appropriate.

Michelle

That's not great. Right.

Tausha

And there are moments where I'm not diagnosed, but definitely after watching my son and seeing these things, I'm like, "Oh, I have some tendencies for ADHD." I'm like, okay, and so I can talk through it and I can relate to it, and I can see when I'm actually activating and I'm like, "Okay, I need to go take a sensory break."

But I'm not going to go talk to someone else and say, "Hey, are you...?" You know, that's not appropriate. But if they are willing to share that, I would love to hear it. But it goes back to them feeling safe enough and feeling like they won't be judged to then be able to share that. Like for me, I am really good at looking for gaps in systems.

That's like a superpower and I can talk through that. But I have to have a space for someone to actually hear. If I'm seeing something as a gap, will they take offense to it? Will they think that I'm trying to tear down whatever process that they're making? It's all in delivery, right? And so, being mindful of how we share—asking questions is the best way to do it, but from curiosity, not from ill intent or judgment, but holding that space of like, "Hey, I see you."

How can we do this together? And if you're not understanding the question or their answer, ask again, like, "Hey, this is—" or repeat, "This is what I'm hearing. Is this what you mean?" And then go back to trying to find a resolution. So that's how I would approach it at work. Just creating again that safe space, slowing down because sometimes—another thing.

Sorry, I'm on a tangent here, but we process things differently. I'm a visual person, as is my son. I can hear all day, but I love to write and see. And I need both. So learning how our partners or teammates like to communicate, that's one of my first things I like to ask, "So what's your preference?"

Do you prefer me to send you a message? Do you want me to send you something on Slack, or do you want me to send you a meeting invite? Like, what helps you flow best? And trying to accommodate according to that need.

Michelle

Yeah. And I think there's so much nuance there. Right when it's like you and me, one on one, easy to create a safe space, I think, where there's so much for me, like question mark, if we're really making a safe space at work for emergence when we're in our team meetings. Right. And everybody's on Zoom and, you know, it's like, what did that person just say?

Like, can we say that? We can't say that. You know, I think it's those moments where as leaders, right. How do leaders recognize that, make an adjustment and then have that conversation? And also how do we as teammates kind of see that and continue to build that safe space, like, you know, I know you said that.

I'm pretty sure I know what you meant. Like, you know, I can hang essentially.

Tausha

Yeah. I think about, especially in public where there's multiple people that's a little bit more delicate. Right. So someone's writing something in this Slack channel - acknowledging them on the spot? Probably not appropriate. Right. So if you were to go off and do a one-on-one conversation and show them why it's not appropriate, explain to them, talk them through the scenario and ask them questions.

Well, how do you think this person would receive that and why? And sometimes that's just the gap with it. It's not connecting the dots of how my words impact the others in the community. With PJ, we run into that too. He wants it his way now, all the time, and a part of his stimming is he'll watch the same show over and over and over again.

Well, mommy is in sensory overload. I do not want to hear that on repeat. So how do I create space for him to go? I'm like, okay, you can go over here and watch that, or you can watch this two times. We're not going to watch that all day, but I'm going to give you a little to get a little.

And so from a workspace perspective, it's like how can you accommodate but also educate? Sometimes you need to overcommunicate in the way that they receive why this and this is inappropriate, but showing alternatives like "How about we consider this? Let's do this instead."

Michelle

Since your superpower is spotting the gap, right? Like where do most companies or leaders kind of fall short in actually creating a space that does feel safe for emergence?

Tausha

I think it starts in your one-on-ones with your leadership. I'll share an experience that I had at a previous company that really opened my eyes on how open I was. She's probably like the catalyst of me being all of me at work, because there was a point in time where I felt like I needed to fragment, I needed to show up this way at work.

This is how it is. It's like we got to, you know, produce, produce, produce. But then I was always so tired and burnt out. Well, in this scenario, this was during Covid, and everyone had to get shots. And I was like, I don't think that I should be made to get a shot. Right. And I was scared to tell her that because again, it's opposite of what the corporation was asking for.

And when I shared that, it was her empathy and hearing me and sharing a view of what she was feeling too, she was safe enough to share with me, which her experience was like vulnerable. Maybe it wasn't what was supposed to be said, but I respected her because she heard me. She heard my concerns. Did it change the outcome?

No. I still had to do it, which I still am. Like, oh, that sucked. But still, it was being able to hear her hearing me. And then every time after that, there was still a nervousness because she was in an executive role. There was always a nervousness of sharing a piece of me and how I was going to be received.

But every time I exercised that muscle, she showed up. So as a leader, when someone's coming to you, how are you showing up, knowing that in their world, if they're sharing something difficult that they feel unsure about? If you're able to really lean in and show up with compassion, you're building that muscle across that relationship, across that leadership, so they'll be more willing to share those harder, difficult questions or ideas.

Nothing's out of bounds for what they can share right now, nothing's out of the box because you're able to create space for them to share it.

Michelle

How did you spot her? Maybe you didn't and you just went for it. How did you spot her as a safe person?

Tausha

I didn't know that, honestly.

Michelle

Maybe... Okay, maybe now if you can look back, how do you spot somebody who you're like, "Yeah, that person's safe for me."

Tausha

So it's interesting. The more that I got comfortable with my voice and how I show up, others around me had created space for me. Right? So when I think about—I'm going to get a little woozy—but the law of attraction, who we are, those who are around us can mirror. So if I'm showing up in fear and I'm expressing with the idea of victimhood or fear, more than likely someone will reflect back to me that same type of energy.

So in that moment where I was afraid to share it, I knew that if I want to grow professionally, I have to step out on faith and say, "I'm choosing to show up as me. And these are my honest feelings." How she responds is how she responds, but I'm going to still share it, and then we're going to keep moving, because then after that, I know whether or not she's someone I would go to again.

Right? Yeah. And everybody deserves a chance. You know, that fear of not being received is always going to be there. But how do we dig deeper? And we really stand in our power and come back into our wholeness? If I'm not showing up and asking those questions, then I'm fragmenting myself again. When I go back to grateful you, I talk about standing in your power, standing in your wholeness.

It requires us to dig deeper and ask those questions and to show up even in the most uncomfortable time. But if you just a little bit show up, you're going to continue to build that muscle every time. Showing up more and more of yourself and then your surrounding environment will reflect that.

Michelle

I love that. I love that shift in the way you're thinking that it's not like "I'm going to make sure I'm safe first," but instead it's like "I'm actually pushing, I'm developing the muscle and I'm making it my space." I like that.

Tausha

What kind of goes back to Mahatma Gandhi, right? When he talks about "be the change you want to see," that was mirrored in me. If I show up this way, more people will show up that way. Show up in love, show up in compassion.

Michelle

Okay, so we've had this great conversation. Now what can we do as the listeners and learners from your incredible experience? What would you say is a meaningful way that a leader could better support a neurodivergent and emerging team member?

Tausha

It's not the grand gestures, right? It's those small ones. I had mentioned listening beyond their words, paying attention to whether or not they're there. Is their video turned off on the call? Are they consistently not sharing their thoughts throughout team meetings? Don't call them out in the team meeting.

Have a conversation separately. Encourage the space where they can begin to share. Build team camaraderie by curating an environment where there's someone else on the team they feel safe talking to. Because if you have more people on the team embracing them, they're going to be more comfortable sharing their experience.

So creating space, being patient, slowing down because with processing disorders, sometimes it takes a couple times to hear what you're saying to really get the depth of what you're asking for. And allow for mistakes. If people make a mistake, I think that it's a learning opportunity. Don't beat them up for it.

Show them how to get better and teach them how to learn that process so they don't make it again. I think that would be the key. Just remembering that as a leader, your job is to make people feel safe around you.

Michelle

And then what would you say for an individual? How could you start sort of carving out that safe space for yourself to advocate for yourself?

Tausha

Yeah. So like I said, that fear is real, right? If you've experienced things in the past where you felt like you're too much or your ideas are difficult or whatever story that you've been told in other experiences or the stories that you tell yourself. Again, it goes back to exercising this muscle. This is something that I've had to do over the years - when I've had that negative, deflating thought, I remind myself I am not just my thoughts.

So if I have that thought, I'll say, "shut up" and retrain my thought. "Okay, well, let's think this through. This isn't dumb." You can feel that emotion. Show up in the emotion, but don't let it rule you. Our ideas and creations, our bigness, our "too muchness" create space for depth, for vision, for innovation, and really just possibility.

Right? So if we are able to dig a little bit deeper into who we are and take that leap of faith, you become the catalyst for change, and really, your needs become the blueprint of that change. And so I think about all these major companies who just started with an idea. They had to think big.

They had to go out on a limb. Think iPhone - who would have thought a smartphone would be so normal now? And it took that spark, someone being brave enough to say it, to show up, and then others to just listen and add on. That's leadership. Being able to step out on faith and know that your ideas matter, your thoughts matter, your words matter, your existence matters.

And honestly, one more thought: if you're too much for a room, perhaps that room wasn't designed for you. And that's okay. It's okay to shift and change, but you have to start with knowing who you are and what your desires are. That kind of swings back to the joy we talked about earlier. When you're sitting in the essence of joy, knowing what you love to do, how you show up, where you feel the freest - find spaces that allow you to feel free.

Michelle

I love that - that's a bar right there. "If you're too much for a room, maybe that room is not for you." I love that. I was going to ask you another question, but I want to end there because that is... Oof! Chef's kiss. Amazing.

Tausha

Thank you. This is fun. Thank you.

Michelle

Thank you so much. Thanks for everything and just being honest and open and yourself and sharing all that with us. I just love it so much. So excited. Thanks for being willing to jump on with us.

Tausha

Yeah, I appreciate you guys. Thank you for the time.

Michelle

Thanks for listening to Future Works. If this conversation sparked something for you or you know it will spark something for someone that you know either as a parent, a leader, or just someone who is walking through that emergence, please share this episode. You can learn more about Tausha and her work at Gratefully You. So it's GratefullyYou.com, and find her podcast "Grateful You" wherever you're listening to this podcast. Be sure to subscribe and follow along for more episodes of FutureWorks.

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